VULNERABLE MOMENT. This is the intro to the documentary made about me in 2016.
Have you ever woken up every day, for many days in a row, with a feeling of ‘I’m just going to get through this day.’?
And same frustrations, the same insecurities, the same issues crop up day after day after day?
And you know you need something BIG to shake you up, to WAKE you up, but you’re not even sure what you want is possible?
This was me. I had never met anyone who was like me and made it OUT. For good. And by OUT, I mean lost the weight, kept it off and enjoyed a fun life.
I was overweight, doctors told me it would be tough for me to lose the weight, and I had never seen anyone who actually lost weight and kept it off.
I saw people selling ‘diet pills’ who were still overweight.
I saw infomercials that seemed unbelievable…are those people even real?
I saw people who had awesome, healthy routines who never seemed to have a weight problem (but this wasn’t me…I felt like it was almost impossible for me to eat healthy and exercise consistently…mostly because I wasn’t sure I could achieve my goals if I did it, anyways)
I ended up losing the weight, but I realized that the weight was a whole lot easier to keep off if I had a goal. At first, my goal was obstacle course racing and Ninja Warrior!
When this documentary was made (attached at the end of this post), I was fixated on the goal of making it to the CrossFit Games.
And all these goals made working out and taking care of my body fun for me.
And then I got into a personal relationship that I allowed to stress me out and rob me of my sleep.
Simultaneously I made some BIG (but necessary) business decisions that resulted in taking over 102 hours of admin work per week (I thought…I can get it done in 60…not true haha).
I ended up in the hospital and they told me not to work out until all the tests were done…they thought I had MS or a Carotid Artery blockage
4 months of not working out…all the tests done…nothing was wrong with me. I stressed myself into symptoms.
I started doing bootcamp again at Rhino, (it was my first love after all), I cleaned up my personal relationship (got rid of it), and I cleaned up the business stressors.
I was in a good place, but just going through the motions of exercising and eating ‘healthy.’
Enter the pandemic. BAM. Ya’all know what happened then. Haha.
None of us had Camp Rhino classes anymore. For months. I gained 20 lbs.
I started meditating, hired Sabrina as my nutritionist, told her I want to lose the weight but I refuse to restrict myself, and lost almost all the weight.
Then BAM. Shark bite. (If you’re curious and don’t mind gory stuff, search my Facebook for the ‘Shark bite.’) It wasn’t actually a shark, but I ended up with a hole in my leg and 6 months till I could workout normally again.
Then…back in bootcamp, back to happy. I love bootcamp. Always have.
Enter this week…my brothers said they miss me doing CrossFit with them. I love my brothers.
We made a deal that I would come back to CrossFit. (I’m still doing bootcamp, too haha)
I’m on day 4 today and WHOA I can’t wait to go.
The reason I wrote all of this to you is to tell you it’s okay to have seasons of our lives.
I have my Bootcamp/Obstacle racing seasons and my CrossFit seasons.
And we all have our ‘SURPRISE’ seasons…the ones we didn’t plan on.
It’s okay to have a documentary made about your goals and then change your mind and then change it back.
My new goal is to ‘Make CrossFit Fun again’ for myself. Which means I’m going to class and playing with my friends. No pressure, no stress, just fun. And I’m still going to Bootcamp because I love it. And I want to do obstacle races again. And Bootcamp is amazing prep for those.
And boy is it fun. I forgot how fun it was. I had clouded the memory with embarrassment that I changed my mind about my goals.
But here’s the thing… anytime we do something for other people, or because we care what they think…the fun leaves.
And no one really cares what we do. Haha.
People who love us want us to be happy, our coaches are cheering for us no matter what we do, and everyone else just doesn’t have to exist in our mind and in our World if we don’t want them to.
I am so thankful that I have the Rhino community, and all of the different FUN goals that are possible inside of it.
I’ll be logging my daily workouts and getting stronger. I’ll also be signing up for a Spartan Race. And thank goodness the 6 Week Challenge is back. I always love the energy of the groups when we start each one.
So…what are you signing up for? What is your goal?
I would love to hear. And, if you have your own story, I would love to read it! Comment on this blog post or email me. Julie at camprhino.com