If someone breaks up with you, or you break up with them, and you tell me about it, I am likely to jump up and down and say “This is so awesome! I am so happy for you!” I can’t help myself. So far I’ve had many happiness meetings with members who talk about their relationships, and I get really excited for them when a big change is being made.
I realized that I get excited because a change in relationship status usually means breaking out of a difficult pattern. As an eternal optimist, I always look for the best in each situation, and when something is done, it’s done. Meaning, if I can’t do anything about the situation, I’m going to find something else to focus on and work towards.
I’ve learned personally that I can deeply love someone I shouldn’t be with. I can also deeply care about people I have friendships and work relationships with, but that doesn’t mean it’s beneficial for either of us to continue the relationship. This means the ‘break-ups’ are very, very painful. But, have you ever heard anyone say “I wish I didn’t break up with ___(insert name here)___!”? I have never heard anyone say that. For me, the urge to end a romantic relationship, a business relationship, or a friendship has always eventually resulted in happiness for me when I finally went through with it. If someone is making you sad, making you a worse person, or keeping you from being healthy it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship.
I’m sure you have a loving heart and don’t ever want to hurt anyone. I HATE hurting people. I’ve stayed in relationships much longer than I wanted to, just because I didn’t want to hurt the other person. For all my single people out there, the best advice I can give you is to build a life where you are independent, happy, and love yourself. Then, branch out and find someone to add to that happiness. Find someone who is emotionally intelligent and won’t smash your windows if you decide the relationship isn’t working out.
The best way I have found to love myself is to work out, eat healthy, and organize my life/finances. As many of you know, the 6 Week Challenge was my personal catalyst…it changed my whole life. It ended up changing my personal life, my business, and my mindset. I’ll be emailing you soon about the next big thing I’m going to do – The RhinoLife 28 Week Total Transformation Challenge. I can’t wait to take that journey with any Rhinos who are ready to do it, too.
My final thought is this: If you find yourself telling your close friends the same negative stories over and over about your partner, it’s time for a change. And if you decide the trade-off is worth it, and you want to stay with your partner anyways, try focusing on the wonderful things your partner does. Notice and thank them for all the positive aspects of your relationship.
If you don’t have plans for Valentines day, come workout with all the Rhinos tonight. I hear some of them are even going out for tacos! You can be Camp Rhino’s Valentine!
Love and hugs,
Julie